Monday, June 22, 2009

When nothing is enough...

I'm really wrestling with something. Sometimes life can just seem a bit too much. You have faith in God to lead you. You have a spiritual life that informs you, inspires you, guides you. But there are still times when nothing you do seems to bring you peace...or helps you to believe "enough."

What is enough faith? What is enough belief? I feel like the guy who approached Christ saying..."I believe, help my unbelief." It's like I'm saying...I believe, but I just can't get it all together. God, please help me when I can't muster the faith to even ask for help.

What I have is a gift from God, even though I like to think it somehow came from me, or started from me. It didn't. Even what little I have, was a gift, freely given in love. The more I try to assert my own strength, my own belief, my own faith, the more I move away from depending upon and believing in God. It almost sounds silly as I write it. So simple, so hard to believe. The foolishness of our faith confounds the wisdom of this world and all of its messages.

Let my weakness showcase God's strength. Instead of fighting my way forward, let me submit myself to God's will. I want to find the still small voice leading opposite the tide. It takes doing nothing sometimes to stop and hear that voice.

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